Food Fascination Food Blog
Welcome to my food blog. I love have loved food since as long as I could remember. It is probably due to my mother allowing my food indulgences. I was a fussy eater and she made sure I got what I wanted. As I have gotten older, my palate has grown (thankfully!).
Recently I have also found I love photographing food. 6 months ago I was living in Australia and had just married my fantastic and supportive husband Leo. I had the dream job. Sadly my anxiety was at an all time high and at the time I had no idea I even suffered from it.
After finally seeking treatment and being diagnosed with Perfectionism (a form of personality disorder) a lot of things in life started to make sense. The perfectionism that usually caused me to succeed was causing me to become anxious. I became overwhelmed with my work life balance and my desire to cook took a blow. I couldn’t even bake a cake for fear of judgement that it wasn’t perfect…. such horror!
Then, the best thing happened. Leo got an opportunity to take a post within his company in Hamburg, Germany – we jumped at the chance for a change of pace and I jumped at making a decision that seemed like a no brainer, something I had found so hard to do lately (red shirt or white one had became a stressful decision so I was wearing the same thing all the time!).
I gave up my career of ten years as a nurse manager. We packed up all of our things and moved to hamburg. So my little hund became an international traveller. Yes Toby, the Chihuahua “International Mini Hund” came along. In Germany, suddenly I was a housewife aka in Germany as a “hausfrau”. I had free time, and, the desire to cook was very slowly coming back. I couldn’t yet work as a senior registered nurse as my German language skills are a long way from being where they need. With my husband at work, I desperately needed something for me to fill my time or I would go bonkers!
I loved reading cooking magazines and food blogs to fill my time and found I really enjoyed the food photography (oh and the tasting!). As I learnt how much went into taking food pictures, I was amazed at what was produced. I thought maybe I could give it a shot (pun intended). I quickly realised that food photography, above all else, takes patience, perseverance and great natural light. With patience, my most lacking virtue, and sunlight, which Hamburg has very little of, I had a challenge on my hands.
Planning to make that amazing flan or pie while having ingredients at the ready. Then that predicted sunny day never comes. It’s enough to trigger that dear old friend perfectionism’s anxiety (I mean, I should be able to control the weather right?!?). It has been like a kind of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) except its free. I had to learn to work around the things I can not change and learn to be flexible to change the things I could with what I had!
For me, baking and photography was about me realising that I can’t always have control, that its ok when things don’t work out. You start to learn quickly when you only have a sheet on the window with velcro to diffuse, that broken trestle table you picked up and painted with sample paint (and to hell with the huge water and mud stain) and that crooked icing job is acceptable – it’s a way for me to start loving myself starting with learning to love food again.
Food Fascination food blog will bring you not just yummy recipes and silly anecdotes about life, but also tidbits about me, my life and those around me. Food Fascination will have recipes that are tested and tasty. The photography and writing may not be perfect…. but it is just like me. Perfectly Imperfect.
I hope you enjoy my food blog as much as I enjoy making it. I look forward to your comments and suggestions.
P.S If life is getting you down or are you aren’t feeling your usual self here are some contacts that can help:
Beyond Blue https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
Black Dog Institute http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
Lifeline Australia https://www.lifeline.org.au/
Headspace National Youth Mental Health Foundation https://www.headspace.org.au/
A lovely little angel painted this picture when she was in a lot of pain. Jess didn’t reach out and we lost her. Her legacy is helping others reach out. Ask for help. You are worth it.
“Jess with Wings”